08 1 / 2013
28 8 / 2012
Today I am reminded how very short and precious life is. For a seemingly simple reminder, it’s awfully hard to take in and wrap my head around.
All we can do is seek peace beyond understanding, and be thankful for the life which we are given and the lives of those who make our worlds rich.
05 1 / 2012
finding peace in a void
‘I’m sorry this isn’t the news you were hoping for…’ I read. My stomach tightened, my eyes burned, it felt like my heart went into slow motion. I wasn’t surprised, really, but maybe my hopes were a little higher than I had realized.
The news I wasn’t hoping for is this: nothing has changed in my records at the agency I was adopted through nearly 25 years ago. It means that the possibility of meeting my birth parents is, well, not really a possibility. It’s been about 7 years since I last enquired with the agency, and I thought maybe, just maybe, something might have changed. I’ve known from the beginning that it was a closed adoption, that the chances of ever finding them were slim, I guess I’ve always just hoped for something different. Knowing that, and trying to be logical about this doesn’t seem to work. It stings.
I’m not really sure if getting this news, is easier or harder than the first time. Last time, the agency sent what they could to me, medical records and social documents, handwritten by my birth parents. I about fell over when I saw her handwriting, it’s identical to mine.
I don’t know if I’ll ever answer the questions I have. Do they wonder, like I do? How will I explain this to my children?
Don’t get me wrong, I would never, ever change a thing about this part of my life. I have an amazing family and wonderful, loving, supportive parents, I sometimes wonder how I got them =) But there are days when the void in my past takes hold of my heart and my mind, and I wonder.
One day, maybe I’ll find the answers I’m searching for, or maybe I won’t. Life will go on, and each day I’ll be thankful for the path I’ve been given to travel.
06 12 / 2011
06 12 / 2011
I can’t keep up
This weekend, as usual, I unplugged from the internet. The only time I used my iPhone was to make calls, send texts, and set an alarm. I could focus entirely on the company of good friends. It was glorious.
I came home to pages of email, loads of interesting tweets I’ll never get to read, Facebook notifications, a packed Google Reader, new projects on Pinterest, and neat photos on Instagram…did I miss anything? Oh yeah, several invitations to use a new app…Path (which, if I’m honest, is really really neat) But all I could think is ‘I can’t keep up with the internet!’ There is just so much information, amazing information, that we all seem to need. Do we though? I don’t know about you, but it sure feels overwhelming to me some days.
At times, I can’t help but feel that our favorite social networks are too quickly making human interaction obsolete. Is that tweet or notification on your phone really more important than the the actual person in front of you? Really? Maybe I’m just not tech savvy enough, or maybe this is something we should consider for a moment. What do you think?
06 12 / 2011